So anyone who knows me, and literally I mean anyone, knows that I suffer from Migraines. Reason being - it effects my whole life.
Medically, I am not deemed a "Chronic" migraine sufferer because for that you need at least 6 migraines a month or so my DR tells me. And they know everything right?! But at 4 migraines a month on a bad one, and each one lasting 72 hours, that equates to 50% of the time, I feel like a pile of shit. I am dosed up to the eyeballs, but I feel nauseous, clumsy and spaced out. The alternative is wanting to crack my own head open from the excruciating pain on one side of my head, that makes lifting it up off anything but a pillow, impossible.
If anyone asks me what the worst thing about a migraine is (and no one does to be honest), it's the lack of understanding about what they are and the guilt you have for being effected by it. If i was walking around limping, had snot dripping from my nose, or a black eye, I'd be treated more sensitively. Like most chronic illnesses, the fact that it is invisible to others and incorrectly considered a type of headache, means we suffer from peer pressure to drink alcohol (I'll get to that in another post), shake it off, come back to work before we're ready, get over it, and not cancel plans (the biggie).
Those who know me really well, and by that I mean very close friends or colleagues (because they see me everyday) understand more because of how much of a liability I can be when I am knocked sideways. However that doesn't mean I am cut any slack when I'm not getting drunk on holiday, back at work but feeling battered, or cancelling last minute because I am in pain. Unfortunately they are a bit like periods for men - unless you have one, you will never, and I mean never understand.
From DRs, my struggle has been getting the right kind of help. I first started getting migraines when I was 19 and my god, I did not know what they were. If I don't take the medicine that works now within the first few hours of an attack, then I am in tears for days. It was actually a pharmacist who finally diagnosed me as a migraine sufferer and what put me on my life time dependency of sumatriptan. I've tried every preventative drug going, which have ranged from making me feeling nauseous every day to feeling so tired it hurt to walk, being offered medical trials and then deemed later not suitable as I don't "suffer enough" to now having acupuncture once a month. This is all between being patronised for not managing my triggers. The ones I do know; stress, weather changes, skipping meals (or going hungry for too long), alcohol and my time of the month. And sometimes they flare up just for the fucking fun of it. So yeah, I can't avoid pretty much all of those.
What migraines do mean, is that I've had to make some much healthier life choices to reduce them down as much as I can. Exercise is huge, I've given up caffeine (used to be a massive Tea drinker) and I avoid "just one drink" regularly. The way I see it, I'm either getting hammered with the next day written off (so it's worth it) or I am just not doing it. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. I'd like to just not drink at all, but I'm human, and occasionally I desperately want one.
So what about migraines leaves me unimpressed? Well the fact that out of 5 siblings, being the only girl (women are more likely to suffer from men) I'm the only one that got dealt this card (as well as periods obvs). No seriously, I'd never wish this on anyone, especially not my brothers. What actually really gets to me is those that do know what this does to me, but expect me to "just deal with it" for their own benefit. It's beyond selfish.
Migraines aren't just a headache - it's a complete attack on your body. If you've got a headache please don't ever call them a migraine as that's a start to recognising them as a completely separate condition.
But most of all, please do show as much compassion for this chronic disease as you would someone who had any other painful condition which is hard enough, without the judgement.
If you want to learn more about Migraines, or be migraine aware, please see here: https://www.migrainetrust.org/about-migraine/migraine-what-is-it/
Yours Truly,
Unimpressed Migraine Sufferer
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